Introvert DEI Training

Where I work, my boss is required to perform DEI (Diversity, Equity & Inclusion) training at least 4x/year. Last Thursday was our last training session that included a short video then discussion for the team (not that this was a virtual meeting).

The video was horrible and was just a couple of minutes about two coworkers talking about an introvert boss (yes, introverts can be bosses) of which the conversation was so inane that I can't remember any of it. The only part of the video that was good was the ending slide which stated something like, "Extroverts are energized by socializing in larger groups of people, while introverts are energized by spending time alone."

Many people interpret "introvert" as shy, and the video did not help in that misconception. During the discussion, I stated that it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that I am an introvert since I love working from home and most of the people in my team are stressed by it. I went on to say that interacting with people just exhausts me. Then the only other person to participate in the training (who is a definite extrovert who is also outgoing), tells me that I need to go to speaking training and do some presentations in front of people until I get comfortable with it - then I won't be an introvert any more.

Hmm, so during sensitivity training, he is telling me,  that as an introvert, I need to be fixed. And, NO ONE EVEN CAUGHT IT. I, not needing to defend myself, nor wanting to get into an argument, just said, "hmm, that is an interesting theory."

Introversion isn't shyness. Shyness is an emotion while introversion is a personality type. Although I can be shy at times, I am also outgoing and assertive when I want/need to be. Sometimes I can't be bothered, as in the above situation. If I don't see value in it - as in it will exhaust me more than help me or the other person who most likely can't understand (not won't/unwilling, actually can't) - I just let it go.

This article has a chart showing some of the different reactions for different personality/emotional combinations.

A personal example that may explain better; As you may recall, I was active in the local HOG Chapter. I was LOH Officer for several years and also membership officer and editor (I usually had at least 2 positions and one year all 3). I enjoyed participating in and even leading some of the activities. The best one, in which even when I wasn't "leading", I managed to take charge of was the spring bake sale / raffle. See, I would be continuously interacting with a small group of people behind the tables, while dealing with a large amount of the public. The public came to us because they wanted food or raffle tickets. I wasn't trying to convince them to buy, although I could upsell them (hey, you have $2 for change from the cookies, you want to buy raffle tickets with that?). Yes, it was tiring for me, but at the same time I enjoyed the entire day (although when it came time for a break, I would go off by myself into the back parking lot and recharge by not being around people). What I couldn't do, was be the person who circulated thru the store asking people if they wanted to buy raffle tickets - that was being too intimate with strangers. That was a job better suited for an outgoing extrovert (which we employed for that task).

I hated the one year that I was at the Membership table, although the circumstances were much the same as the bake/raffle sale, my job was to convince the public that they wanted to join the HOG Chapter. This circumstance was just plain exhausting with no reward for me. In these cases, you generally want to get on the same page as as the people that visited the table, which means a more intimate conversation with total strangers. I was exhausted after only couple of hours into the full day. I also never managed to convince myself to go to the annual winter bonfires, even though I knew practically everyone that would be there. One year I made myself go, then once I got there I turned around in the parking lot and left. I just couldn't deal with the exhaustion of all those people and the noise. The annual holiday parties were also exhausting. I had to go to those as an officer, but would leave after only a couple of hours (the meal and the award presentations) because I was so exhausted from all the people, noise and activity.

Introvert, extrovert, you do you, just don't make the mistake of believeing that the other needs to be "fixed".

Comments

[Cop Car]

Not only should we not bother trying to "fix" one another since, as adults, we have pretty much outgrown any chance (if ever there was one) of changing our "types"; but, I've observed that many/most of us are not one pure type. Figuring out how to get each strangely typed person to work with all the other strangely typed people with whom they need to cooperate, and to be relatively comfortable in doing so, is the challenge of the manager. From what you've written/said in the past, your boss is adept at meeting the challenge. Good for you.

P.S. Your Grandmother H commented to me when you and Dudette were quite young about your different "types". She appreciated your differences.

[Cop Car]

Whether it is an introvert or extrovert thing, we'll miss you at our family gathering tomorrow.