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March 19, 2005


Cop Car

It is tough making the decision to "pull the plug". Mom and I had a tearful phone call before she told the doctors to pull the plug on your grandfather. It's so easy to second-guess yourself after you've told the medical people to do it for a loved one. ("For", not "to".) Dad had left a signed "Do not resuscitate" statement. Unfortunately, the medical people chose to ignore his wishes or Mom would never have had to tell them to disconnect him--he would have died a couple of days sooner. (Actually, he did.)

My great-grandmother died just after my great-grandpa died (within 24 hours--she lost her will to live), but the medical people felt they had to bring her back. I'll never forgive them for the year of suffering that Grandma went through (and for the anguish of her caregivers--my grandmother and her husband) just because some physician thought he was god.

Angry. I am angry at medical professionals who think that life is in their hands to the exclusion of the wishes of the patient. I am with you, Bogie. Your wishes are the same as mine for myself (and your dad's for himself). We all die, sometime, so what is the point of putting everyone through the anguish of a prolonged suffering? I'll help watch your back if you'll help watch mine. I love you!


CK thinks I am an absolute nut about making sure my wishes are known!

I travel out of town a couple of times a month, with one of those trips usually an overnighter. Four or five times a year, before one of these trips, I ask CK and WD if they remember where to find my will and my living will. I want to make sure that whoever in my family has to make that very tough decision knows that I am very clear - pull the plug! No one has to make a decision - I have already made it.

Please allow me the dignity to live and die on my own terms.


I'm in complete agreement with my adopted family, and I need to get my act together and fill out a living will! I hate the thought that my loving family might try to maintain my body when there is clearly no hope. Dear Husband feels the same way. I need to be sure his wishes are on record, because I don't want to have to argue with his daughter should the time cme to pull the plug. I think you're smart to let them all know in a public venue how you feel.


I have heard several horror stories about medical professionals that ignored every instruction that a patient has left in writing, leaving the rest of the family to make the decision to pull the plug when there shouldn't have been a plug in the first place.

Medical professionals are there to help, not hinder. Somejust have to realize that at times helping is just leaving well enough alone and letting the person go with dignity and grace.

Cop Car

In our long-term care volunteer ombudsmen class they are beating it into our heads that OUR moral values, OUR ethical values, OUR thoughts and beliefs are irrelevant. What the resident wants should rule suppreme. Unfortunately, too many health-care professionals don't "get" that. They think that "First, do no harm." means that they must prolong "life" at all costs. Baloney!

I just bummed up my knee something fierce getting in the paper this morning. (It was raining so I started to run--until my knee went "crunch" and gave away.) I know that they shoot horses; but, I think you should hold off having me shot on this one. Please?


Maybe you should think about buying an umbrella instead of running to get the paper (really, at your age, it's undignified - LOL).


Give me a break, Bogie. Your dad is older than I am and he runs 4-8 miles at a time. Are you brave enough to tell HIM that HE's undignified? (Me neither!) Well, as I recall, when I hurt my knee in 2001 it was while running, too. My knees are telling me something. They are indignant at my lack of dignity?

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